Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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