I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don't tell me you're on acid again
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize