have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
