forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
