First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize