note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
