with your own penis?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
