I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
