She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
