I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
