Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
