So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
