come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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