you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
