she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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