okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
we're so committed to being not committed
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
