2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
