that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
