I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Green mimosas i think yes
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
