I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
