i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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