Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
