my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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