id be glad to
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
as a side note pls kill me
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