How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
