Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
