Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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