you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
