Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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