Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
pray to the hookup gods
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize