Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
