Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
