I skipped work to stalk him.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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