you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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