If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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