so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
