What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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