i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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