You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
