You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
