you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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