addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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