You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
