so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
