I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize