i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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