if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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