so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
