tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
