I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
