I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
