And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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