finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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