I wish I only lived at night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
