I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
