i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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