Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
