Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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