Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
