I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
